She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
