im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
