I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
