Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
