Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
