Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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