i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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