I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You ruined the universe
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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