his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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