I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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