so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
