I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
