Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
