your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
pop tarts are not kleenex
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
