Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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