thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
