you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So much Jack, so little girl.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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