he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
