You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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