Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If that was your dad, he is hot
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
