I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
