Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
