I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
