Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
