So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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