sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
