he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
