I want to have your abortion
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
