last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
