Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I look better un-naked...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
