All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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