...so i touched it.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
