I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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