Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
