i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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