dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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