Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
