Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
