Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
