Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
