google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
