Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
