If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
