I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
