the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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