i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize