8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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