how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So many bounce houses so little time
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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