i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
