You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
