Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
