Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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