Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think i peed on brittanys purse
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
