I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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