Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
But we have bathrooms and they dont
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
