Just cropdusted the office
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Drake has all the answers
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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