I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
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