matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
should my penis look like a turkey
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just high enough for therapy.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
