I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
