ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
