I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Your cock deserves a montage
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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