worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
