I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
