all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
