dude i'm inner monologue high
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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