I cockslap morals
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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