shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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